The Bougie Brunette’s Advice
When You Can’t Show Up Perfect
Because sometimes the most elegant thing you can do is be honest with yourself.
There are days when the champagne feels flat, the garden looks tired, and even your favorite apron strings don’t cinch quite right. Life isn’t always polished — and that’s okay.
The truth is, being “bougie” isn’t about keeping up appearances. It’s about caring for yourself enough to pause, reset, and take honest inventory of how you’re truly feeling.
Here’s how I soften the edges when life feels a little extra heavy — small rituals that remind me I don’t have to be perfect to be present.
1. Lower the Bar — Gracefully
Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is nothing at all. When the clouds seem to move in and your sunshine disappears, remember to give yourself permission to rest, cancel plans, and simply be.
Pour tea into your prettiest cup and let yourself exhale. Elegance isn’t always in doing or being in the spotlight — it’s in allowing life to continue while you embrace the quiet role of a bystander.
2. Anchor in Sensory Comforts
When your mind is swirling and you feel out of control, come back to your senses. Turn off your phone, light a candle, pull on your softest sweater, open the window for a breath of fresh air, and find a comfortable place to nestle in or perch.
Don’t underestimate your own body — it often knows how to ground the spirit.
3. Do Something Small and Repetitive
I find comfort in quiet household tasks that ask little of me: watering plants, folding linens, handwashing dishes, or polishing silver. The gentle rhythm of movement and completion helps me find calm again.
The French call it ménage, but I call it therapy — the art of tending the home until it feels like peace again.
4. Take Emotional Inventory
Not every feeling needs a fix. Sometimes, you just need to acknowledge what’s there. Sit with it. Name it. Breathe through it. Be mindful of the emotion and allow yourself to be okay with feeling it.
A simple journal prompt I love:
“Today I feel ____.
What do I need more of?
What can I let go of?”
No editing, no overthinking — just allow your heart and hand to express honesty on paper.
5. Choose One Small Joy
A walk. A fresh bouquet. A square of chocolate. Coffee from your favorite shop. A phone call to someone who makes you laugh. Tiny joys can quietly shift your mood and soften the day into something manageable again.
You don’t have to climb out of the fog all at once — you just have to find one light to follow, then another.
A Final Word
The Bougie Brunette life isn’t about perfection — it’s about presence and poise. About honoring the seasons of your soul the same way you honor the changing seasons outside your window.
So if you’re in a quiet season, be gentle, be kind, and embrace the stillness the universe has graced you with.
Don’t worry — the champagne will sparkle again soon enough.
